Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
