I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
