I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
