i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
