so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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