doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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