i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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