I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
