if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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