All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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