i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
