I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
