.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
