After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
