she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
