this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
