I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize