At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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