It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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