either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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