it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
