porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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