a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize