It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
