Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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