He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Girls should come with a carfax report
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
