Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize