i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
