she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
