I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
