I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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