yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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