i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
