Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
