I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize