apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
