did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
