I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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