doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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