Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
