So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
