Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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