dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
