you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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