Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
