worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
