i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
