Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize