if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
