Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
