the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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