I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
