Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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