I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
