If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
