adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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