This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
