don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
