oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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