I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize