i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
