You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize