'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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