Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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