I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
