i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
