im gay
i know
yea but for you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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