Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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