i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
