I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
