I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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