They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I want a musical about memes.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
