i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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