Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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